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Marriage in the Master's Teaching

We urgently need to understand scriptural truth on this topic

Introduction

1. Text: Mt. 19:3-6.

2. The subject of marriage is of immediate interest to most people.

3. Regrettably, the discussion must often be problem-oriented -- i.e. it must answer questions about what to do when marriages are in trouble.

4. Our discussion of Jesus' teaching on marriage will have to deal with some of this, but it will also seek to focus on the positive aspect of the subject: what should marriages be?

5. Jesus' personal teaching on marriage is found principally in four passages: (1) Mt. 5:27-32; (2) 19:3-12; (3) Mk. 10:2-12; and (4) Lk. 16:18. This lesson will concentrate on Mt. 19:3-12.

I. THE ORIGIN OF MARRIAGE:
WHERE DID THE MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP COME FROM?

1. The Scriptures are our only source of information about the origin of marriage: "Have you not read" (Mt. 19:4).

2. God created human beings male and female, and provided the marriage relationship for them - Mt. 19:4,5.
   Cf. Gen. 1:27; 2:18-25.

3. Marriage is not merely a human social contract -- it is of divine origin.

II. THE NATURE OF MARRIAGE:
WHAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP IS MARRIAGE?

1. Marriage is a union that supersedes the parent-child relationship - Mt. 19:5.

2. Marriage is a union of such intimacy that the mates are said to become "one flesh" - Mt. 19:5.

   1. Paul compared the marriage relationship to that between Christ and the church - Eph. 5:22-33.

   2. Certainly, the closeness of the marriage relationship calls for care in selecting a mate.

3. Marriage is a union to which both partners are to be faithful - Mt. 5:27-30.

   1. The Old Testament teaching - Exo. 20:14. Cf. Lev. 18:20; 20:10; Deut. 5:18; etc.

   2. Jesus' conversation with two different adulteresses - Jn. 4:16-18; 8:3-11.

   3. Other New Testament texts - 1 Cor. 6:9,10; Hb. 13:4. Cf. Gal. 5:19-21; 1 Thess. 4:3-8.

   4. The seriousness of disregarding a vow once made - Eccl. 5:1-5.

III. THE DURATION OF MARRIAGE:
HOW LONG IS THE MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP TO LAST?

1. The Old Testament background to Jesus' teaching.

   1. God "hates divorce" (Mal. 2:16).

   2. Yet, under certain circumstances, divorce was tolerated in the Old Testament - Deut. 24:1-4.

   3. By the time of Christ, the rabbis were divided over the grounds for divorce under the law of Moses.

   4. The school of Hillel: divorce was allowable for any cause at all.

   5. The school of Shammai: divorce was allowable only for immorality approaching adultery.

2. The conversation of Jesus with the Pharisees on the subject of divorce - Mt. 19:3-12; Mk. 10:2-12.

   1. The Pharisees' question - Mt. 19:3: "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?"

   2. Jesus' answer - Mt. 19:4-6: "So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."

   3. A further question by the Pharisees - Mt. 19:7: "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"

   4. Jesus' answer - Mt. 19:8,9: "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."

   5. The disciples' question and Jesus' answer - Mt. 19:10-12.

3. Summary.

   1. Marriage is intended by God to be a lifelong union - Mt. 19:6.

   2. Only one cause for divorce is allowed: adultery (porneia = sexual immorality) - Mt. 19:9.

      1. In the absence of scriptural cause, divorce itself is wrong - Mt. 19:6.

      2. When remarriage takes place, the additional sin of adultery is committed.

         1. By the man or woman who wrongfully puts away a mate and remarries - Mk. 10:11,12.

         2. By the one put away who remarries - Mt. 5:32.

         3. By the one who marries the one put away - Mt. 5:32.

      3. Unscriptural divorce invites the additional sin of remarriage and adultery - Mt. 5:32.

4. Some practical implications of Jesus' teaching on marriage.

   1. The need for us to work on making our marriages what God intended them to be.

      1. Adequate appreciation of the permanence of marriage. Marriage cannot scripturally be ended for incompatibility of temperaments, disagreeable habits, loss of love, mistakes made in choosing a mate, etc.

      2. Determination to overcome the obstacles that threaten marriage. Sometimes even when there is a scriptural right to divorce, marriages are given up without adequate effort to save them.

   2. The need for the young to be taught what the Bible says about marriage.

      1. Formation of proper attitudes toward marriage in the pre-teen years.

      2. Exercise of common sense in deciding those whom one will date.

      3. Wise and prayerful selection of a lifelong mate in marriage.

   3. The need for the Lord's people to demonstrate that marriage can work as God intended.

      1. Christians' marriages need to be living examples of the "workability" of God's plan.

      2. This need becomes greater as the divorce rate in the world climbs higher.

   4. The need for Christians to be well grounded in Bible teaching on divorce and remarriage.

      1. Much untruth is taught, unfortunately even within the Lord's church.

      2. The truth must be laid alongside this untruth so clearly that people can see the difference.

   5. The need for congregations to carry out scriptural discipline when it is necessary.

Conclusion

1. Mt. 19:3-12 clearly teaches (1) that God originated marriage and (2) that the union is to last as long as both partners live.

2. May we resolve to make our marriages last and to impart to our children the biblical view of marriage.